Introspective

 It is good to feel solitude sometimes. After one’s crazy plans and adventures fade into memory. Unforeseen incidents, and delights. I have been having fun here in Chile – really learning a lot. About Spanish, about English, about this new place about people, about myself. My friend recently described to me that because I am a foreigner, I have the best of luck in some things, and the worst of luck in others. He was jokingly jealous that girls come up to me in Café’s here, offering their phone numbers. On the other hand, he said that he felt no jealousy that people try to rob me, men are often cold and not accepting of my presence, and that it is still somewhat difficult for me to communicate, generally speaking. But, who I am as a person probably makes me more susceptible to extreme forms of luck in any place. Outgoing, overeager, friendly, excitable. Throughout my life, I have had some of the best of experiences imaginable, and the worst. I’m settling into my self as a person, but now also settling into this life as a foreigner.

Solitude is good. It helps you know yourself. Also, having fewer material possessions is good. It, too, helps you know yourself. Solitude and creativity go together. I have two pairs of shoes. One pair, I wear to work, the other I wear to walk around the town. I’m getting to know myself in a new way, walking these streets. Today I sat, waiting for my favorite coffee shop to open, watching the people passing by. There were old men playing chess at the nearby park benches. There were people of all ages passing by – beautiful women coming out to greet the new sunny weather. Many of the women were pushing strollers or holding the hands of small children who tottled behind. There were jugglers in the street and clowns making balloon animals for the children. I wondered, how I could become each one of these people. What would my life have been like, if someday I end up one of these little old men playing chess in the plaza? When I stand up from my seat, what is the very next thing I need to do to become this clown? Will one of these strollers passing by contain my child someday? I don’t suppose any of these lives would be bad. Even the life of the clown. At least, he is always smiling. I guess I should develop higher expectations from my future. Sometimes, it’s just too much fun seeing where the winding path goes all on its own.

Events:

Things have been great here in my little life. Frequent visits to Santiago to see friends. This past weekend I went up to eat dinner with a friend. We had just sat down to order, when suddenly the lights went out. We suspected they would come back on shortly, but after a few phone calls to friends, discovered it was a major, nation-wide blackout. So, an impromptu candle light dinner began at this nice Peruvian restaurant. The waiter brought us two candles. One, he placed next to my friend. The other, he placed next to me. The only problem was that we kept laughing. Each time I laughed, I’d blow my candle out. This, of course, immediately made her laugh and blow her candle out. This persisted, back and fourth, till the waiter came around and made a wager out of it. He said the next person who blew his or her candle out had to pick up the bill. She blew her candle out first, but I still paid the bill. It wasn’t her fault. I’m really funny!

This upcoming weekend I look forward to going with a bunch of friends to Valparaiso. Maybe, if I am feeling particularly brave, I’ll try to surf. If not, I’ll just enjoy the beach, and try to see some historic sites. Also, my good friend is coming down from Santiago to Rancagua tomorrow, and I look forward to hanging out with him. It is funny that you can travel all over the world, and still meet people like this, who you feel belong to your past – kindred spirits or even birds of a feather. It just goes to show, that people are people are people. I’m still trying to decide what kind of person I want to be. I want to be a good one. That, I know. I want to have more nights laughing and blowing out the candles.